Crazy invention ideas

Hey there! Do you sometimes have a crazy idea for invention although you know it's kind of impossible? Me? I have alot of crazy invention ideas. Maybe because I lazed around too much and like to dream of the future.

Some people says that dream is just empty thinking which should not be taken seriously. I dare not agree. Without the dream of flying in the sky, man would not have invented aeroplane. Without the dream of faster moving vehicle, we would still be stucked at bicycle. Without the dream of bringing light into darkness, we might still be surviving on candles every night. Without the dream of having water at home, we would not have the idea of tap. Without the dream of staying dry outdoor during raining, there would not be umbrella. Without dreams, we are dead.

Transform your dream to goal, your goal to aim, and slowly work towards it. Centuries ago, the idea of capturing image with a device and get it printed on a paper is impossible. Everyone was thinking, how can any thing record what your eye see; we are not robot. But today, it's possible!

Now, how about a device that can record smell? I've always wanted to record the smell of faeces (human waste) and use it to play a prank on others. It sure works because my solid waste is very smelly. HAHAHA! Of course, it can be use to record the smell of flower and other animals for studying purpose too.

One of the more realistic idea is my "nose filter". It's basically an air filter for your nose. Plug it into your nostrils and it will filter away unwanted particles in the air; only oxygen will enter your body. Once in a while, you need to change the nose filter though. No need to dig your nose for gold anymore!

Another great idea is my "awakening pill". I know the name is the same as that in Pokemon but I just can't find a better name for it. The effect is pretty obvious. It keeps you awake, just the exactly different of sleeping pill. This idea came to me because I don't like sleeping. If only we can maximised the time used, we can live longer and do more thing. We might die sooner too.

The idea of pill is good. A small capsule for your everyday needs.

For those busy businessman, eating might be a time costing event daily. My invention on "no-need-eat" pill will do the job. A capsule will replace one of your meal giving you the nutrients needed and remove your hunger. Isn't it great if you are always fretting on what to eat later?

After eating, you will need the toilet bowl to contain your body waste. It will be embarassing if it happens during an important meeting presentation or if you are meeting your parents-in-law. "No-shit-pill" can do the job. The pill is design to sublime your solid waste into gas and release it from your anus like you are farting. Smell? Maybe an "anus filter" can do the job.

Getting lazier. Introducing the "no-need-shower" pill! This pill will remove the bacteria and germs on your skin leaving you a fresh feeling. Do remember to change your clothes though.

My crazy invention ideas are like changing the way human live. Good or bad? My brother feedbacked, how can we not eat and not shit. Yeah, maybe human beings are designed this way, we should not changed the way our body function.

Nose filter and a device to record smell seems to be good enough.

Do you have any crazy invention ideas?

6 years of life in Griffiths Primary School

My period of primary school life is from 1993 to 1998. WOW! Early 90s to late 90s. Alot of things changed during this period of time, alot of friends made during this period of time, alot of people gone during this period of time, alot alot alot.

Griffiths Primary School is perhaps not so well known as any other school in Singapore because of its name. Griffiths Primary School got its name from Mr James Griffiths; he officially opened the school thus the English school name.

I got enlisted into Griffiths because my old house was just beside the school. Really near. The distance from my old house to the school is just a zebra crossing. Nothing else. Staying near to the school, I always envy my classmates who have the chance to arrive in school in school bus and leaving in school bus. I got to walk. Now I laugh at how lucky I am.

This school has a buddy system; 1 primary five student will be the buddy of (take care) a primary one student. This only last for 1 week or 2 weeks depends on the need. I've long forgotten who was my buddy but thanks anyway. Without you, I might never find my way to toilet or the assembly area.

Honestly, I can't remember much during the first few years of my primary school life. One thing that I remember in primary one and two was the girl sitting beside me. Can't remember her name but I think is "Goh Hui Xin" or "Goh Xin Hui". What makes me remember her so well is her BIG eyes. Everything happened so sudden and quick. I was still in the state of shock despite passing all my subjects unknowingly. Looking back at my report book, I actually got a 100 marks for my Chinese in one of the exam. Strange, how come I can't remember the teachers congratulaing me or my parents feeling happy about it?

In primary 2, each class has to perform a show on the stage during the weekly wednesday assembly. Our class performed twice due to the "lack of class". In fact, almost all class performed twice. The first performance is quite crappy. Everyone must draw a fruit on drawing block, color it and bring it on stage, carry it above your head like a banner and wave it from left to right. This is accompanied by a background song promoting healthy eating. I drew an orange and hide behind my classmate.

The second performace is much more realistic. We put up a pirate show but I can't remember the storyline. It took us quite long to get all the crops done and to get everything else ready. The rest who are not involved in the acting will be singing the theme song while they are acting out the script. The song goes... "one eye jack, the pirate jack, was a terrible ocean thief..." I can't remember the rest.

Most of the time in primary school, I'm a super quiet boy. Some teachers even thought that I'm mute. I'm not mute, I'm only selective mute. I don't know how to communicate well with strangers. Strangers refer to my classmates and teachers. When people talk to me, I would just nod or shake my head.

Primay 1, 3, 5 is afternoon session while primary 2, 4, 6 is morning session. I guess this is almost the same for all primary school last time so no need explain much.

I got my first pair of spectacles when I was primary 2. It was the school regular annual check-up that told me to get my eye sight corrected. From then on, my nose is always supporting something for 13 years.

Fast forward to primary 4. First time in my life I got to worried so much and study so hard for an exam. Everyone is talking about the streaming exam. The principals, teachers, parents, neighbours, classmates, friends. Everyone. Suddenly, my mathematics logic got so wrong. My mum got so kan-cheong that she hire me a tution teacher. Things didn't get any better except a border line pass. Luckily, I managed to get into EM2. Afterall, I'm not a hopeless kid.

Primary 5, new classmates everywhere because of a new class. Stupid people got kicked into EM3 class and clever people got isolated into EM1 class. Perhaps it's the people in this class that I still keep in contact.

- Jia Rong
- Joanna
- Jocelyn
- Desmond
- De Ming
- Isaac
- Wee Kiat
- Daphne
- Daniel

Still got alot which I can roughly remember the face but can't remember the name. They are wonderful people that brightens up your everyday in primary school. This is the time I begin making friends. Of course, there are idiotic people too.

Being the most senior in the afternoon, it's now finally our turn to guide the junior (primary 1) during recess. I buddied with a nerdy looking boy. The boy told me to wait for his parents as they will bring food to him. We waited until the boy nearly cried because his parents is nowhere to be seen. I then use my poor pocket money to buy him some biscuits to fill him up.

The second day, finally saw his parents. It turn out that they can't find their little boy in the sea of green clothed students. So, the boy eat his delicious home make sandwhich while I eat my food bought at the school canteen. One week later, the parents of the boy decide to buy me something to eat. Sadly, they are transfering my buddy to another school because of the location. Guess it's the end of fate between us.

Every year after exam, we are allowed to bring our own game to school and play. UNO card game is the best as many people can play together. "Many people can play" doesn't mean I play it too because I belong to the "few who don't know how to play" type.

Those who are richer will bring (and show off) their GameBoy or Sega. That time, GameBoy is still the first generation. Remember the brick size GameBoy that has dim yellow screen? They were so "in" and everyone was snatching to be the next in the queue to play it. Game Gear (a Sega handheld console I think) is even better than GameBoy! It has bigger color screen but it need 6 AA battery to power it. The owner will be the one playing along with a huge crowd surrounding him.

Being a poor boy, I always didn't get the chance to play except once. Wee Kiat finally lend me his GameBoy and I randomly select a game. It was a motorcycle game. He forced me to return (snatched) back his GameBoy when I haven't even complete a track. Nevermind, since it's yours, you decide. I blame no one.

My classmate, Isaac, failed his primary 5 and got to demote to EM3. After some discussion (or begging), he got to stay on in EM2. Surprisingly, he did well! Suddenly, his science is so good that he even score higher than me.

Too many things to write about primary school life. I feel that I'm beginning to write non important things into this entry.

I still remember the days of country eraser fighting contest. Not an official contest but everyone was so excited about it. All you need is a country eraser and you can start the match! Country eraser is a rectangle type of eraser that has the flag of a country printed on one side. It's sold for 10 cents at the school bookshop. Good business I must say. It's a turn based competition. Simply flip and flick your eraser to make it land on top of your opponent's eraser to win his eraser. The loser got to sacrifice his eraser =( I won't say I'm a pro at it but at least I manage to win quite a lot of erasers.

It is certainly immoral to make us queue under the blazing hot sun after our recess. Of course, it's not a problem when we are having our fun running around under the hot sun during recess. Why can't they make us assemble in the hall or in some place where there is shade or shelter. Talk about torture.

I still remember that after a recess, the canteen got so dirty that we are called up for lecture by our principal. She is scolding us from the comfort of her office through the PA system. Thus, lesson got stopped and we all stand still at our seats listening to her scolding on the speaker.

Wee Kiat and I would always rush to help the teachers to carry book to/from another location. Not that we are bootlicking the teachers, we are just damn bored of sitting in the classroom waiting for the next boring lesson to start.

Some mentally wrong guy would then purposely open my bag and insert nonsense into my bag while I'm away helping the teacher. An example of a common litter in my bag is tissue paper. Does my bag resembles a dustbin? Once, I purposely put lots of correction ink on my zip so that the culprit will get his hand dirtied. Desmond Chua, do you remember that you got caught although you don't want to admit when I confronted you.

At primary 6 level, you are the oldest in the school meaning you will get to bully people. HAHAHA! Of course I'm not a bully. Those prefects are bullies instead. They enjoy finding fault with lower primary students and write their name into the little blue notebook. Satifaction face on the prefects face result in my hatered towards them. Bully lower primary student only. Upper primary student who violated school rule are given a free pass.

There is this lucky chance that a prefect accidentally drop her notebook and I pick it up. WOW! The book is filled with names with lots of offenses such as shirt not tuck in, throwing litter on floor, no name tag, no badge and other crap. Knowing that the prefect will go frantically searching for her notebook, I tear it into pieces secretly and dump the book into a huge bin. No one manage to recover it. Whoever the prefect is, blame it on your bad luck (and attitude).

Primary School Leaving Examination AKA PSLE first paper (English) is on 5th October. I remember it's the same days as the Chinese's lantern festival. No chance to play with lantern and fire as I got to study for my mathmatics exam the next day. My form teacher in primary 6 is Miss How. I remember her for her strange surname and her long hair, skinny look. Not ghost but a good teacher. Thanks.

Luckily I did well for my PSLE. Personally, I'm quite satisfied with my glorious result and I can get into an Express stream. Cool. I didn't bid farewell or compare result with my fellow friend and classmate because I was too shy to show my result. Satisfied with my result doesn't mean I have scored well. And that's how my connection with my primary school mates end. Too bad there we don't have MSN or SMS at that time.

Wee Kiat and Desmond are my best friends. We would always create birthday card and give presents for the birthday boy secretly. Although I know that they are trying to insert the birthday card into my bag, I still pretend not to know anything. Yes, I still keep the card although it's full of spelling mistakes.

Isaac, Daniel and De Ming would form another gang. Isaac is the playful boy that goes around creating lots of trouble and joke. Daniel being the uber big and tall guy. Standing beside him, you will feel your shortness. How can anyone grow so big! Coincidentally, he is Louis best friend in secondary school. De Ming is the happy go lucky guy that is tall too but not as giantic as Daniel. We enjoy erasing the blackboard. HAHA! Yes, it's still blackboard, not white board.

How can I possibly forget the cousin Jocelyn and Joanna. Joanna is a better girl because she is not as fierce as that Jocelyn. That Jocelyn like to boss her way around because she think that being a prefect and backstage girl is so cool. I always got scolded by her for some reasons which I can't remember. Once, I got so fed up and hit her on the head with my empty water bottle. She cried and threaten to complain me to the teacher. End up nothing happen. Serve her right for irritating me. That's the first and last time I make a girl cry.

The girl name Lee Jia Rong, I still remember her after 10 years.

Who can forget about the puberty check in primary 6 that all guy detest. Sitting in a room waiting for the nurse to see your private part is not a good feeling especially if your underwear has cartoon on it. When it's my turn, the female nurse unzip my pants. Luckily I hold on the pants or it will fall to the floor which is like so embarassing. She just see see and say "hmm ok" and ask me to wear back my pants. Of course ok lah, what could be wrong. Luckily I manage to control myself so as not to get an erection while the nurse is checking.

The end of my primary school life marks the end of my principal and vice principal. Mrs Mary Fletcher and Mr Loh both retired. How can I ever find them back although they can't even recognize and remember me. Thanks for giving me a place in the school to study and excel.

There are alot of more things but I can't possibly type everything out. This is already my longest entry. Whatever the days future might be, I am proud to be from Griffiths Primary. Even if one day the school close (touchwood), I will not be ashame to say that I'm a student of it.

Griffiths Primary School has undergone a huge renovation and makeover. The new school now is very different from the time I studied. Everything changed. Location of general office changed, toilets changed, bookshop changed, canteen orientation changed, new garden, new assembly area, new hall, new music room, hydroponic plant area changed, library moved. When I went back, I still need to take some time to find everything. The teachers are all different now. Only 2 teachers are still there from my time.

Gathering sometime yea?

To die or not

Am I suffering from depression? That's what my mum always wonder. My reply to her would be "of course no". As far as I know, I'm not suffering from depression. I believe that I'm perfectly fine.

Or is it I'm trying to delude myself?

Many times, I have the thinking about "life is meaningless". I then start to think deeper and deeper and forgot all the meaning about living life. My whole self would become so sad and I would start to wonder about lots of things in life. Always, I ask myself "what is life" and "is this life".

Why must we go through all these? People all around me rushing to die while I can't bear to die yet can't afford to live. Nevermind the fact that I'm not easily understand because it's like this. What have we done?

To the extend of life is meaningless to me, I'm a coward timid boy. Never have I thought of ending my life purposely. I am afraid of death. How I wish that I can continue living on this miserable Earth looking at the downfall or human.

Everyday we are upgrading ourself, everyday we are downgrading ourself. As days go by, we are getting stupider each day.

The meaning of life actuall just lie around our five senses; see, touch, hear, smell, feel. Once you die, you lose all your senses. Having lost all the senses is as good as dead. You won't see, touch, hear, smell and feel your friend beside you, the delicious laksa, the colorful money, the beauty of girls showing off their waistline, the melodious of Jay Chou singing, the wonderful smell of acid rain.


What if one day, I have become brave and decided not to be afraid of death?

Are Singaporeans getting uglier?

Are Singaporeans getting uglier? Not the ugly attitude but the ugly look. Who agree with me?

Every now and then, there would be beauty show that help contestant regain their beautiful look. Every season, there would be a mountain of contestants showing off the ugly parts of their body, hoping to get a free beauty makeover. Of course, only a few got chosen.

The sponsor for the show benefits when the contestant successfully slim down or remove those funny things from their face. It is an indirectly direct advertisment for the beauty company.

I once witness a rich tai tai spending $8888 on a slimming package upon hearing the host announce her winning after the spending. MAD! Spending $8888 to cut away your bloody body fats when you are still lazying your way having high tea? It has zero sense.

The fact that Singaporeans are uglier can't be wrong. You see beauty salon popping out of the blue almost everytime. Not even in shopping malls but in neighbourhood too. Go take a walk outside, you will see them waving to you if you reveal your fatty arms or round belly.

Instead of spending money on crappy beauty package, might as well save it up and plan early.

If you are worried of growing into a round fatty balloon, then control your diet. No point eating like a hunger ghost while paying money for them to slim you down. Heard of the reaction of acid and alkali? It neutralise.

If you are worried about having hair loss, then control your diet too. They say that MSG or other chemicals in the food cause your hair to fall. The Jay Chou song "hair like snow" might be refering to the falling of hair, like snow, that leads to bald.

If you want to have a beautiful face, then blame your parents for the ugly combination. Do remember to wash your face regulary. What you see on magazines and advertisment posters are fake. Those superstars rely on heavy makeup and heavy computer digital image editing too.

Who is uglier?

Acting cute

WHY WHY WHY girls like to act cute? Is it because they want to make full use of their round puffy face to advertise? In Friendster and some other sites where you can see female human posing for photograph, you will see what I mean by "acting cute".

For the most unknown reason, I really dislike girls who act cute. Not only it disgusts me and my lunch out, it also makes me feel like slapping them.

Can't you just be yourself in front of the camera? Do you have to place your camera above your head to hide your double chin? Is it really cool to add those misty effects, twits text and odd clip arts to enhance your photo? Must you use your fingers on your hand to show wierd symbols?

Worst if they have a boyfriend that has a "come-on-beat-me" face. The boyfriend will act like he's so cool and the girlfriend will act like she's co cute and hot. Scroll further down and you will see them in various position of smooching. Friendster doesn't allow the upload of anything after that.

So, what are their defence? They will reply "I'm naturally cute, not act one hor". Alamak! Take a look at yourself when you cry or get angry. Are you really regarding yourself as a packaged food? I'm not so stupid as to unable to differentiate "act cute" and "naturally cute".

Ya I know, different people got different taste in photography right? Of course I can't restrict them from uploading disgusting photos online but you can't stop me from voicing my opinions.

Of course, not all girls will act cute in front of the camera. For this bunch of intelligent species, I will name them "lady" because they are much more mature.

Jerry likes cute girl but doesn't like girls who act cute. Girls who are cute attracts me like housefly to shit. Sorry I'm not good at literature so don't expect something refined from me.

Not only girls act cute, guys act cute too! This is worse than inhaling expired super glue. Be a proper man and stop acting cute. For your parents sake, if you can't stop acting cute, go have a sex change operation. I rather vomit my lunch out on act-cute girls than having the inhaling expired super glue feeling.

If you think you belong to the act cute category, you will get phased out soon. Everyone will age.

Live Earth

As much as I know, the widely advertised Live Earth concert across the globe is to promote environment awareness. Quite an interesting event because audience can watch their favourite singer perform for Earth sake.

Of course I didn't join in the crowd squeezing event as I'm already too skinny to get squeezed. The telecast on Mediacorp channel 5 is pathetically boring too. I don't konw why but it just don't have the "concert" feel.

YouTube is a great source of video entertaintment. Linkin Park's performance at Tokyo Live Earth is at least better than Singapore. Then I realise something, is this a concert?

After the concert, people totally forget about Earth. Littering everywhere on the ground. At least use the recycle bin provided and sort your unwanted items nicely into the respective bins.

If they really want to save Earth, Live Earth concert is not going to work. I have a better suggestion. Stop all television broadcast on that day. Such a widescale mega concert will is using lots of electricity, burning fuels, creating unwanted methane and carbon dioxide, leaving us with extra trapped heat in the atmosphere.

Earth is a good place for human to live in but human are destroying it.

Maybe I should save electric too by spending less hour on computer. Maybe I should stop using the water heater when I shower. Maybe I should plant more trees to absorb carbon dioxide. Maybe I should sleep more so I will breathe out less carbon dioxide. Maybe I should stop farting. Maybe I'm thinking too much. All the "maybe"s may not work out for me.

Saving the Earth is too easily spoken.

100th post

Since the first day I published my 1st post, it has been about 22 months.

These 22 months, I have a total of about 4460 unique visitors at an average rate of 7 ~ 8 visitors each day. You can also searched for my blog at Google and Yahoo. Just search for "comprehend me". Thanks Google and Yahoo.

Up till now, there is a total of 194 comments in in my Haloscan accounts. Actually it's just the same person that is commenting this while although I occasionally do get some annoymous comments.

Recently, my post on I am Chinese is being mentioned in Wall Street Journal (without my permission). It's quite an honour for such a well known website to mention about my blog in the "related blog" section.

As you can see, I'm always constantly changing my blog layout abit by abit to improve the browsing experience. 3 days ago, I created a new blog just to test out all the things I've always wanted to implement. Visit it at: http://beta-cm.blogspot.com/

The testing already begun 3 days ago but still got lots of testing to be done. Please note that because it is in "beta" testing, there might be problem with the blog page here and there. So, please visit my testing site every once in a while to check out the new features I'm testing and give opinions on it.

100th post. What a milestone.

When will it be my 200th post?

Sitting on the MRT floor

This is another blog entry about public transport, more specifically, MRT.

Everytime when someone seats on the floor of the train beside the door without blocking anyone, those uncles and aunties with camera phone will be quick to snap pictures of it secretly and send it to STOMP.

Please lah, it's up to them to decide where to sit. Why do you have to control other people's butt? If you feel sad for their backside, then go wash it for them. What has sitting on the train floor be any of your business?

If you are really unhappy about them blocking the door which does not open on that side, then go tell them straight. Why resort to taking other people's photo secretly. The lady opposite you might think that you are trying to capture her upskirt. AH! I know, you are worried that those "door-side seaters" will bash you up? Well, then continue hiding behind the computer screen and insult them.

Being kind to kiasu commuters on the train, I always stand throughout the ride instead of snatching seats with people. Sometimes, too many train rides a day tires me out so I always drag my friends to the floor with me. Luckily (and sadly), I never get snapped but I do get strange stares.

I know, got seat why must sit on the floor right? Not like I never sit on MRT seat before but I don't like it. Everytime on the seat, when the train comes to a station, I would be on the lookout for needy person. I don't want people to think that I "purposely didn't see". Being a bystander watching people snatching for seat is more fun.

Back to the topic, what monkey business has it got to do with you and the person sitting on the train's floor? The idea on "moving towards a gracious country" and "uncivillised" is crap. The ugly sight of snatching seats, eating in train, not giving seat to needy person is not as gracious and is definitely uncivillised too.

At least sitting on the train's floor is better than sitting on the bus's floor. Agree? Why don't people sit on the bus floor. It's because the door is only at one side, unlike the MRT where you can choose to sit on the side which the door won't open.

Next time you complain about other people being a donkey, check it out in the mirror yourself first. Nobody is perfect. I'm not interested in lame joke such as "my name is nobody".

If you really have a problem with people sitting on the train's floor, kindly exit the train and take another train coming 3 minutes later. If there's still people on the train floor, just go take a bus or take a cab.

Loud music in public transport

Do you hate it when someone plays loud msuic in public transport? Do you feel like snatching the handphone over and slam it on the floor? Do you feel irritated?

I don't.

I have no problem with people playing loud music from their handphone on public transport. Just treat it as a public entertainment. Buses have TV Mobile for public entertainment too, but the volume is too soft. That's why there are people who provide free music for the commuters.

One of the music copyright rule states that you are not allowed to broadcast the copyrighted music in public places. Needless to say, those who play loud music in public places are indirectly violating the terms. Well, you can always argue that the music is played for personal listening with no intention of "broadcast".

There are people who complains that the loud music from inconsiderate people disturbs their peaceful ride especially after a tiring work day. If you really like the peacefulness and quiteness of public transport, take a cab. If you are stingy, then don't complain. This is what to expect on a public bus or train.

Although the above claims that I'm alright with people who broadcast loud music in public transport, I'm not one of the broadcaster. I know that everyone has different taste when it comes to music so I won't share my lousy taste of music with the rest of the crowd. Though I seem selfish in my paragraphs above, I will not be a selfish soul in disturbing other commuters. Playing music loudly in public transport is not my style.

You cannot stop these handphone music's flasher so just adapt to it. Thinking on the positive side may brighten up your journey. If you keep bearing the grudge of hating the teenagers that play ugly music, your journey will darken. If you don't like the music, then simply plug in your earphone and start listening to your own music. Another way is to try to like the music. I just come up with a nice quote: "there's no bad music, only bad listeners". Sounds logical?

The next time you encounter a walking radio, face the music.